Taste The Rainbow
FreiFem2011I have a strong affinity for skittles. Alright, fine, “affinity” might be too timid a word for my emotions towards those small sweet/sour treats, with just the right give as they slide between my teeth, yielding to my bite….
Far too many sins, once tried, bitterly disappointed, falling short of years of imagination (I’m looking at you McDonalds). Skittles, with each sugary kiss on my tongue, were the lightweight avaira champion, always performing better than I expected.
Although the miracle of a fetus growing within me is pretty darn amazing, almost equally impressive is the miracle of my dead sweet tooth, which has lost its raging control of my mouth since I became pregnant. But earlier this week, since my midwife encouraged me to eat all the ice cream I want because I’m on the low-range of recommended weight gain, I decided I would pick up a bag of my neglected, beloved skittles to snack on during the train ride into the city.
I ate them piece after colorful piece, with a growing sense of dismay. The strawberry tasted rancid, the chewy texture tired, the sweet rush forced and sickening. Still, refusing to believe my old favorite could let me down, I kept on going to the bottom of the bag, hoping each candy would reinspire me. But no such luck. I walked off the train nauseous with sugar and chemicals, stomach knotted and aching.
Was it a bad pack? Had my tastes changes so radically? Where my adolescent thrills irrelevant in my new grownup body? Is my fetus kashrus observant? Whatever the reason, I don’t think I’ll be reaching for that bright sinful bag again, anytime soon.
What I really need, I decided, as my blood sugar levels danced, is a slice of a childhood treat, a safe kosher-certified delight – a piece of soft, warm gooey kakush cake…. Korn’s beware… I’ve got my sights on you….
7 Responses
I suddenly feel very much pregnant. Korn’s, me too!
Don’t throw away the Skittles yet. Your taste for sinful indulgences has become more sophisticated but the baby will know how to properly appreciate a treif Skittle, I promise you that.
“Was it a bad pack? Had my tastes changes so radically? Where my adolescent thrills irrelevant in my new grownup body? Is my fetus kashrus observant?”
Nah. It’s just pregnancy. And remember, as I am sure you already suspect. You can leave and become secular and taste all the delights of your new (okay,now not so new) world and still crave childhood. And for us, that craving is always bittersweet, tinged with sadness and hurt.
Pregnancy as you know, is a time of emotions. That is why you suddenly miss your mommy, as much as you want to feel free of all that emotional crap. Believe me, I know, it’s how we survive and get on with it. Having a child means in some way revisiting your own childhood. Which in your case and mine, includes irresistible delectable unforgettable kokosh cake.
The cake is a metaphor for mommy and the love we needed and never got. But we got kokosh cake. That is how my mother showed me her love. Meals from scratch and kokosh cake. I would rather have had less yellling, less severity, less strict adherence to set rules, more support, more good old fashioned love. But at least I got kokosh cake.
Years later, my mother can no longer make kokosh cake. I don’t make it, I don’t bake. How heretical is that, coming from a Hungarian home? But my big sister does. She exasperates me to no end. I love her dearly but wish at least one sibling, just one, just one, did what I did, so I could have a true soul sister.
I hate her turban. The accent grates on me like chalk on a blackboard. Her wide eyed innocence is irritating. What is jazz, she once asked me in complete bewilderment, causing my husband to break into giggles.
But she can bake kokosh cake. Almost like the real thing. Almost like our childhood. The ties that bind. The one place we meet in youthful sinful sweet innocence.
what a beautiful comment, J…. as bittersweet as the emotions in describes.
According to Wikipedia, Gelatin is produced from the following products:
28% Bovine Hides
27% Bone
44% Pig Skin
Porkskin is currently the most significant raw material source for production of edible gelatin in North America. Supplied as either fresh or frozen, porkskins come from slaughter houses and meat processing plants already trimmed of fat, flesh and hair. Porkskins are usually dehaired by scalding with a hot dilute caustic soda solution.
Is this what you want to feed a baby who is busy learning Torah?
You so funny, ER.
Unfortunately, I wasn’t joking.
Don’t worry, your taste buds will return to normal eventually. Chocolate nauseated me when I was pregnant, and I kind of wished it would stay that way….