News Roundup – Thurs, 1/14

The massive earthquake in Haiti has caused widespread devastation, and Jewish groups have been rallying to support the relief efforts. We’re wondering when Rabbi David Niederman will announce the Satmar community’s assistance, although we won’t be holding our breath.

The meshugeneh Pat Robertson again knows the answer, but this time he’s not telling. Well, he’s sorta hinting: According to him, the 100,000 dead are because of something that “happened a long time ago in Haiti, and people might not want to talk about it.” Can’t help wondering, do Chasidim ever say things as stupid? Um. Next question.

Abraham Mondrowitz, notorious sex offender protected by the Ger establishment in Israel, has friends on the Israeli Supreme Court. No extradition to the U.S., no sirree. They don’t trust our due process.

Ever walk by Yona’s Knishes on Houston St. and think it sounds really heimish? Well, it used to be. A hundred years ago, in 1910, Yonah Schimmel was a soifer and a melamed. Until he realized selling knishes was more lucrative than writing tefilin and Torah scrolls and giving kids petch for nisht vissen vie m’halt. Schimmel is credited with making the knish the popular snack it has become. This was one melamed who made a difference.

The Orthodox have happier marriages than most other couples. So finds a University of Chicago study. Could’ve been Avi Shafran who said it. But is it really surprising? The Orthodox find happiness in many things, like waving palm fronds and rolling leather straps on their arms. Hey, I’ve heard weirder, so I ain’t judgin’.

A Chabad shliach in Albany, who happens to be Sholom Rubashkin’s son-in-law, was charged with four counts related to sexual molestation of a minor. The perp got a plea bargain that lets him off with a slap on the wrist and no listing on the sex offender registry. Nothing funny to say about this. Nothing at all.

Leib Tropper is still serving as Rosh Yeshiva of Yeshiva Kol Yakov, despite allegations of an illicit and predatory relationship with a woman he was counseling prior to her conversion process. Well, that ain’t really newsworthy; happens all the time. But you gotta love the way these people handle their PR:

Calls to Tropper at Horizons were not returned… Receptionists at Eternal Jewish Family were instructed to not talk to reporters, and directed calls to a public relations firm that, in turn, referred inquiries to publicist Menachem Lubinsky. He referred all questions to the executive director of Horizons, David Jacobs. Calls for Jacobs were answered by staffers at Yeshiva Kol Yaakov who redirected callers to EJF, where Jacobs’ office is apparently located. He did not return phone calls.

Now that’s what I call a runaround for the books.