Tu B’shvat Murmurs

From the comments on a Facebook invite for a traditional Friday night meal:

Host: “I need someone to help me with the zemiros.”

Token non-Jewish girl on the invite list: “What’s a zemiro?”

Overheard at Tu B’shvat meal:

Host is cutting open a purple-skinned fruit with black dots inside.

Chasidish bucher who just joined the party: “What’s that?!”

Host: “Dragonfruit.”

CB musing to himself: “As if a kiwi isn’t gay enough.”