Parenting Advice from a Naked Mom
FreiFem2011I witnessed an interesting exchange a few years ago, that has since stuck with me as a powerful lesson in parenting, femininity and re-evaluating one’s assumptions:
I was at a nude hot springs, in the mountains in middle of nowhere. A beautiful spot, where people strip down to the skin and bathe in holes in the earth filled with deliciously warm mineral water.
A woman was there, in unabashed post-baby curvitude, with her five-year-old daughter, who splashed in the water and gabbled non-stop, unfazed by the pendulous flesh of the naked bathers around her.
Another woman was chatting with this mother. She said:
“I think it’s so terrific that you bring your daughter to a place like this, to a nude hot springs.”
“Oh,” the mother replied emphatically. “Of course I bring her here. I wouldn’t want her to grow up modest!!”
I’m telling you people, the way she said modest – the scorn and derision and judgment she poured into that word that had been worshiped and revered by every female authority figure of my childhood – it was a terrific eye opener.
What place does “modesty” have, in your post-religious life?
6 Responses
Interesting anecdote. However, what I think she meant was that she doesn’t want her kid to grow up to be a prude or to be sexually repressed. Although in the religious world the concept of modestly implies some sort of inclination towards less sexual expression, modesty really has nothing to do with being comfortable with nakedness or sexuality.
im not post-religious at all but i think hedyot is right
i think you might be so full of hatred towards anything that reeks of judaism that even the word modesty makes u cringe. its probably normal for people who hate something to associate and not to be objective
“its probably normal for people who hate something to associate and not to be objective.”
Pot calling the kettle black?
It’s important to be open with kids about the human body, and it’s not something they should be ashamed to talk about. On the other hand, we are all modest to a certain extent. We just don’t necessarily think of it as modesty. Most of us have a comfort zone. For some it’s nudity in the house only, for some it’s boxers, others won’t step out of the bathroom unless they’re fully dressed. Most of us lock the bathroom door. That’s a form of modesty. I personally wouldn’t take my kids to a nude spa. Seeing naked adults walking around might not be the most pleasant sight. Why ruin their innocence that young. At the same time, I allow my kids to watch tv shows that sometimes show tribal nudity. Maybe a bit hypocritical, but somehow to me it’s not as shocking. I wouldn’t judge people that do take their kids to nude spas/hot springs. If the family is comfortable with it, and it’s properly explained to the kids, it might be fine. Kids take cues from their parents, and if they are fine with it, the kids probably will be as well.
Seeing naked adults walking around might not be the most pleasant sight. Why ruin their innocence that young.
Very young kids don`t perceive adult naked body as unpleasant. Seeing somebody naked isn`t ruining their innocence IMO.
I take my son to nude spa since he was 2y old and he asked a lot of questions but none of them were about nudity.
I think being comfortable with nudity is also cultural thing.
If your interested in this topic, might I suggest that you do a Google search for “Bathing Beauties Anna Schnur Fishman.”
Excellent article!