Shviger Luck

By FreiFem · July 6, 2011 · Blogs

I got pretty lucky in the shviger department. She did once mention that sinners (like her son and I) were all going to burn in hell, and we are not without our occasional skirmishes over my dress or the choices her son and I make, but overall she is sweet, generous, caring and always has kukush cake on hand when I visit.

Not everyone gets so lucky. An email from a woman to her stepson’s fiancee that recently went viral, includes the following proclamations from the shviger-to-be:

“Your behaviour on your visit to Devon during April was staggering in its uncouthness and lack of grace.”
“If you want to be accepted by the wider Bourne family I suggest you take some guidance from experts with utmost haste.”
“You do not take additional helpings without being invited to by your host.”

There’s got to be a Jackie Mason joke in there somewhere…

For people wrestling with leaving/who have already left the tight-knit religious world, in-laws can be double the stress or a second chance – either another source of judgement and pressure or an alternative family when one’s own is failing in their familial duties.

I’m particularly curious about those who married outside the religious community – do you see your in-laws as welcome replacement for family who may have spurned you?

And, on a totally different note, just to spread some joy and cureness in this occasionally dark and frustrating world:

I’m trying to decide if they look more like Dr. Seussian creations or a bunch of gentle old Chasidish men.

Recovered from the Wayback Machine (copy of 2013-08-28). Original page in the Wayback Machine.

1 Response

Chay Nobody · July 6, 2011 at 4:10 pm

Have you noticed that mother-in-law jokes seem to traverse all religious and cultural lines?
Come to think of it – YOU FreiFem yourself will likely one day be a mother-in-law of some sort to whomever your child(ren?) decide/s to attach themselves to. Will you also think that your (successful/smart/angelic) child deserves much better? LOL.
Obviously relationships are what we make them – and as opposed to our parents – at least we have SOME say in who our in-laws will be – we CAN at bottom decide not to “marry/hook up with/what have you” our spouse if our in-laws are truly awful, whereas we can NEVER get rid of our parents.
And that actually brings me to another thought – what happens if you are lucky enough that your in-laws become like the parents you wish you had had, but then the relationship with your spouse goes south. Do you at least get to keep the in-laws??