News Round Up – Thurs. 8/18/11

A frum family was “traumatized” after being fined for carrying produce from Israel into Newark Liberty Airport. The fruits and vegetables were supposed to be an on-board snack for the kids. We think this is all really just a guerilla marketing ploy by Osem.

Ehm, antchuldikt, feineh ehrliche Boro Park veiblech, but that Chanel you’re wearing? Designed by a Nazi spy.

Rabbi Chaim Miller preaches from the Huffington Post “THE seven most powerful ideas in Judaism” (emphasis and snark, ours). Along with the six other carefully-edited platitudes, we get:  “All the days of your life are to bring the Messiah,” along with a vaguely camouflaged Yechi HaMelech!

Thought you were a connoisseur of Chasidic varietals? Here’s one we bet you don’t know: The Valdeners. Alright, so they’re fictional, but they’re still worth spending some time with in Rebecca Goldstein’s 36 Arguments for the Existence of God: A Work of Fiction, reviewed here by Bernard Schweizer, author of Hating God.

Lawyers representing leaders in Kiryas Joel have responded to a federal lawsuit alleging mistreatment of dissidents, stating “[It] consists in large part of issues that already have been litigated and decided, in some cases on multiple occasions.” Genig shoin!

Gwyneth Paltrow is promoting mikveh on her website, although we get the feeling her version involves a lot more $130 moisturizers and a lot less of a mikveh lady inspecting your butt crack for stray hairs.

Oy. Hollywood’s going after the Chasidim again. Director Mark Slutsky’s “Sorry, Rabbi,” will premier at this year’s Toronto Film Festival, depicting a clash between a secular Jew and his Chasidic neighbors. If past experience is any indicator, expect clip-on payess and lots of “khas v’shaloms” from the rent-a-Chasids.

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News Roundups appear every Thursday (or when our News Roundup writer gets around to it, whichever comes first). Send news tips to unpious.editor@gmail.com.

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