From the Archives: The Mask

Check out some of the old Unpious favorites!

This week, “The Mask” by Fruma Biegeleisen:

After the kids are in bed and the meal is over, that’s when I start the conversation. The conversation we’ve had a million times before, the one where we know the script by heart, its ending so predictable. Can we talk about compromising? Maybe I can wear a hat or sheitel just to shul functions? Maybe I can wear one to school events or when we are out together? Is that good enough? Is that a good starting point for compromise, for a discussion? No, it is not. No, because he has already compromised so much by just staying married to me. And just like he always said, one compromise leads to another. First it was cholov akum drinks at coffee shops. And now it is taking off my sheitel. What will we compromise on next? Will I take our children to eat cheeseburgers at McDonalds on Yom Kippur? Will I? Well?

Check out the great “To Leave or Not To Leave” debate in the comments, including:

Forbidden: My hunch is that parents who leave their children behind, to be raised in a system that no longer makes sense to them, feel they may not have a “right” to their children. If that is the situation, then it is tragic for the parents, the children, and humanity at large.

Laura: no one can claim that people who leave the lifestyle are experiencing hell on earth without sounding idiotically narrow-minded, so too can nobody make the blanket statement that leaving is better than living a lie.

Shpitzle: it does really bother me that children are left to be processed through the “system” of segregated yeshiva, shidduch, family etc by parents who found that system so unsatisfactory. For those that argue leaving with children is not doable, well, that does not mean that it should not be desirable.

Read the full article and comments, “The Mask” by Fruma Biegeleisen >>