News Roundup: 9/8/11
Unpious.com Staff Writer2011
credit: Rukia
Hell’s Angels looking to cross over to heaven? Rebbe’s Riders offer quick tix via tfillin and shabbos candles.
The Village Voice profiles Shomrim’s mishandling of sex abuse cases in the religious community. Our friend, Luzer Twersky, sums it up well: “Borough Park is a very safe neighborhood for adults. It’s just not very safe for kids.”
Whoops. A recent audit found the East Ramapo school district lost track of $2.4million worth of school books and allowed school board members to continue to receive health insurance even when they fell behind on payments, among other problems. No worries, Comptroller’s office, we’re sure you can find all those shiny new math and science books somewhere in New Square. They may have morphed into an SUV or a kallah bracelet, but they’re there.
A rent-a-shaitel service has opened in Israel, allowing women to lease a shaitel for a monthly fee, rather than shell out an arm, leg, and first born child to buy a bundle of human hair far more attractive than their own locks.
God’s responsible for the fact that a toddler survived a Torah ark falling on him. Responsibility for the Torah ark falling in the first place has not yet been claimed.
Moshe Zigelman is refusing to testify against other Chasidim, claiming he couldn’t possible violate the heavenly dictate against mesira. Funny how heaven’s commandments are so selectively, yet vigorously applied. Lying, cheating and violating dina d’machulsa dina by laundering millions of dollars, for example: not so problematic.
The long, slim-fitting coats worn by the Duchess of Cambridge and admired by fans all over the world, can trace their yichus back to a Yerushalmi bekishe.
________________________________________________________________________________
News Roundups appear every Thursday (or when our News Roundup writer gets around to it, whichever comes first). Send news tips to unpious.editor@gmail.com.
Disclaimer: Unpious.com is neither fair nor balanced. We are totally partial to snarkiness, cynicism, sarcasm, and women wearing bekishes.
2 Responses
Love the bit with the Hasidac coat sparking a fashion revolution.
Think about how the skevere chusid feels when he realizes
His boots are from the cossack’s times,
The bekitche the queen wears
His shtreimel the russian tsar invented
The only thing that is left true and authentic to himself is his tzitzith. Now the mis’na’chel in Israel got that too.