Listen, My Son
Yonah2010Sh’ma beni,
As my father would say: her in derher.
I have suffered. At home, in school, and in society in general. However, we are an am kshei oref—a stiff-necked nation. We get up, dust ourselves off ; men visht zich up der nooz in men gait vaiter“.
I have already trodden the path and found the middle way; the way that works. I still dress the part because otherwise B&H wouldn’t allow me to keep my job. I still walk the walk because I have to, for the sake of my mother. And I talk the talk; where else would I find such a geshmake social life?
But I’d like to think I’ve figured it out, and this is the legacy I hope to pass along to you. I want you to be cultured and learned. I want you to have the academic and career opportunities that I didn’t have. But more than that, I’ll be there for you to guide you into making the right choices. After you get engaged, of course.
I can’t help you financially, but I can help you get financial aid for school. I’ll teach you how to drive; but we’ll have to go out of the neighborhood. You understand, right?
I’ll teach you about science, astronomy, history, and politics, the little bit that I know. But you can’t talk about it in yeshiva. We can discuss philosophical questions and we can talk about God, whether he exists, whether he cares, or whether there’s one or many. But you can’t share anything with your friends.
I’ll take you places where you’ll gain an appreciation for art, literature and music—all those things that I was denied. And I hope you’ll find the right people to enjoy it with.
It’s harder for me, because I’m older and I have a family to support. But you still have your whole life ahead of you. And I hope you do me proud, son. I hope you do me proud. Because you deserve better than I’ve had. Yes, I have a great life planned out for you.
But for now, bring me a cup of tea and let’s go over the gemoro for your test tomorrow.
11 Responses
Yona,
If your son is lucky enough to inherent his father’s writing skills, he will be in pretty good shape.
I dare say, most people reading this piece feel as if they could have written it themselves.
Teaching your son the pseudoscience of ‘astrology’? Perhaps that אין מזל לישראל?
Amazing post Y many here can relate to every word.
‘Shma Beni’ It may go well if you’re lucky. But then you reach the end of the verse, V’al Titosh Toras Imachu’. What does she tell her child? And there, there.
My son asked me the other day when the Ish Chusid story happened. I debated inside me to tell or not to tell. Then I decided what the heck. I told him, “It never happened!” I felt so good afterward. I told the truth to my son. Vehigadetu levinchu. I only wish I could do the same with yetzias mitrayim and the rest…
I’m not there.
Yet.
Vayzusu — Your name reminds me of a conversation with my eight year old son. It was around Purim time.
My Son: Humon iz gevein a echte mentch?
Me (figuring, what the hell): Yuh.
S: Achashveiroish iz gevein a echte mentch?
Me: Yuh.
S: Vashti hut echt gehat a veidel?
Here I was at a loss.
HT: ‘inherent’, really? Reminds me of this exchange I came across the other day http://img13.imageshack.us/img13/8003/0109102003.jpg
What’s the problem answering that? It doesn’t say anywhere that she had a tail.
The rest may or may not be true. But either the person that wrote the story and made a yomtov out of it was great minuplator and genius of a man. Or did you think that its possible that it may actually be true. And the victor gets to write the story. in his version.
My (very)young son, after learning about Sinai, wanted to know if I still remember the times when we were allowed to eat milchig and fleishig together.
Why are women/wives almost always made out to be the religious opressors or fanatics?
Gila, I’m always hearing that it’s the men who are oppressing. Oppressing the women, that is.
I think both men and women have equal claim to being fanatical and responsible for the oppression of all under the yoke of fundamentalism.
Well written and it seems so many can relate.
Personally, I can understand growing up kinda sheltered and feeling jilted and robbed of knowledge. I can also understand the want and or need to move on and do things differently. Still, who’s to say that kids – who happen to have so-called open minded parents [trapped in the fringes] who’re willing to enlighten them yet at the same time limit them of how, where and when they can express themselves – are pschycologicaly better off than kids who’re sheltered yet free to think and express themselves to anyone at anytime without worries of slipping on some of the “forbidden sweet fruit”?
I’m no psychologist, but I have many a friends who sort of live that kinda life and it seems to be very tough on many of the kids – call it confusion, stress fear or whatever it really is.