News Roundup – Friday, 1/15

Well, some people are still making money the good old-fashioned way: investment fraud. But it ain’t pleasant when you get caught. Chaim Citronenbaum, a Monsey resident, will do three years in the slammer. He is also now $1,683,903 poorer, after he was ordered to repay those he defrauded. More I can’t say, because I can’t for the life of me figure out the scheme. Can someone procure a prospectus? Makes Madoff’s scheme look like child’s play, for sheer complexity.

Keeping Shabbos might actually cost some people an arm and a leg. Literally. That is, if it’s a prosthesis operating via brain signals. A lecture series at Bar Ilan University dealt with questions of halacha and how they would apply to unusual new technologies. A virtual candy store for rabbis who love making life complicated.

Guma Aguiar, the Brazillian multi-billionaire and philanthropist, has been committed to a mental hospital involutarily. Who is he and why should you care? Beats me. But for some reason this story interests some people, partly due to his association with the now-shamed Rabbi Leib Tropper. Yup, the one who solicited millions from Guma for Israeli rabbis and then pocketed them for his own organizations. And then seduced a woman he was counseling for some nasty role play.

A horny Chasid? Well, that’s not really news. But when it leads to killing his baby when his wife won’t have sex with him, it sure is. The gruesome tale is described in an indictment yesterday against Nachman Inshin, a Breslov Chasid from Jerusalem. Was I insinuating anything here? Not me. But some streams of Breslov do have have a reputation for attracting the mentally imbalanced. Hey, I’m just reportin’ the facts.

Haiti sings to its God before the Earthquake and cries to him afterwards, because as somebody declares, we have nothing except a hidden god. Sound familiar?

Think it’s harsh living with a lot of rules? Consider this one: you must kiss your husband’s feet when he comes in. It didn’t seem possible, but someone has topped the Orthodox rulebook. Of course, it’s in the name of some higher spiritual ideal. What else is new?