Why Play the Victim?
Ari Mandel2011ContestsWinter 2011 ContestReflections
Vehi she’amdah la’avosenu ve’lanu. Blah blah blah. I’m counting the seconds until Shulchan Orech. I’m here for the shmurah matzah and gefilte fish. I couldn’t care less about the rest of it. I got up at five this morning, ran eight miles, worked all day, and I have to do it all over again tomorrow. Afikomen better not be past chatzos.
Pesach was never one of my favorites. Too many rules, never enough food. That awful constipation. One of my first sins was eating gebrokts.
A four-star general sits across from me. To my left is a colonel, and at the head of the table, a major – the frum chaplain. I’ve been in the army long enough to learn to keep my mouth shut about my background. When I was in Korea, I made the mistake of telling the Jewish chaplain my life story, and from then on, whenever we’d see each other it would turn into a kiruv session. When I got back to the States, I was careful not to advertise my history. Until I got drunk. I had come back from Haiti just days before Purim and was in the mood of celebrating, so I decided to go to the on-base Purim party. Even before they began reading the Megillah, I had polished off an entire bottle of Patron Silver, and by the time the festivities started I was hammered. I don’t remember what happened, but I must have spilled the beans, because suddenly I was “the Satmar guy” (I was never actually Satmar per se, but to outsiders we’re all “Satmar”). I stayed away for a while after that. I didn’t want a repeat of Korea. But people are constantly coming and going in the army, so I felt safe showing my face again this year for the Seder.
“So any ideas on why we have been persecuted in every generation?” the chaplain asks the crowd.
“Because y’all are God’s chosen people,” says the general, a fifty-something African-American Christian. The conversation continues in this vein for a couple of minutes, discussing the persecution of the Jews, when out of nowhere, a voice pipes up: “Maybe we’re doing something to deserve it?”
I’ve been to some strange sedarim, but I’ve never heard anyone drop this sort of doozy. I carry a healthy amount of Jewish guilt, but even I found the implication a bit harsh. Not to say I haven’t wondered if maybe we overstate the amount of hatred there is out there for us Heebs. One of the most common questions I get when I go home for a visit is whether I encounter a lot of anti-Semitism in the outside world, and specifically in the army. The answer is no.
Of course the question gains everyone’s attention, universal condemnation, and a hasty change of subject, but I can’t stop thinking about it.
I am in no way diminishing the terrible suffering Jews have endured for thousands of years, and I understand that it may be a good thing that we talk about persecution, in order to prevent it from happening again. “Those who don’t learn from history are condemned to repeat it.” Right?
On the other hand, we Jews are a bit obsessed with our own victimhood. As the Jewish holiday cliché goes: “they tried to kill us, we survived, let’s eat!” Every time we turn around, there’s another reminder of some misery from the past: Purim, Pesach, Channukah, Tisha B’av, and half a dozen more. At what point does it go from “lest we forget” to being a fetish?
One of the things I’ve learned from serving in the army is the effect “collective suffering” has on team building. Actual suffering – like you and your buddies getting shot at, or the joys of going through boot camp together, or the emotional stress of knowing that the guy to your right or left is willing to take a bullet for you – brings you closer. Similarly, when you’re taught from day one that everyone is out to get us, that everyone hates us, it fosters an “us vs. them” mentality, and pulls the “us” closer together.
It’s also worth noting that in the long view of history, we are hardly passive innocents. Let us not forget all the wonderful things we’re taught to believe about non-Jews. Remember “Im hachamor… Am hadomeh lechamor…”? Not to mention the mindless slaughter that happens throughout Tanach and is excused to this day.
I’m not suggesting “forgive and forget”, but instead of accepting anti-Semitism as an inevitability, maybe we should take some steps to stop it from happening. I’m not talking anything violent or dramatic here. My strategy is, whenever I meet new people, I wait till they get to know me a bit before letting slip that I’m Jewish. It’s easy to hate someone you don’t know, it’s a whole different story once you get to know them. I’ve also found that most of what many people would take as anti-Semitic is actually just ignorance. I’ve gotten some shockingly stupid questions, but I’m always careful to answer them seriously and never take them personally, and I hope I’m slowly chipping away at ignorance.
Back at the seder, the rebbetzin is explaining that the tsunami in Japan was caused by God because the Japanese are imprisoning two Israeli kids on drug charges.
I’m still waiting for my chicken soup.
24 Responses
My respects to you for your service. I was a little distraught with some aspects and reference in the article above.
First our indoctrination about the other nations where noting other that truth.
Sadem Amorah and Cnaan, they where All immersed in sin as far as torah was concerned.
Am hadoma l’chmar has a much deeper meaning then just Belittling other nation, as we our self are sometimes called little bird, snake, donkey too – refer to yisoschor Chamor guram at the blessing of yaakov.
In general, torah is not understood only with the bavli explaining it and for good reason, look the Christians took it as their religion but labeled it old testament because they lacked the explanation and couldn’t come up with a way of navigating through it. So was the explaining of the Tnaach, given word of mouth from generation to generation.
Now back to the mindless slaughter, as you put it. Please refer back to the torah,” When you approach a nation the you like you first call for peace, don’t spoil its trees”. Now for the most case long before the mindless slaughter of the times of david and so forth, where long after they attacked us in the times of shoftem like gidon and Samson.
I just felt I need to write a little rebuttal to the references you made,and I am not intending to take your simple point and turn it into a theology lesson.
Btw, if jewish rebetzin gives a reason as to why the tsunami happened that doesn’t make it so, and it does Not indicate a nationwide indoctrination.
Point is well made and well taken. There are other reasons one chooses to leave frum life, torah and tnaach is not the primary reason…
For the sake of conversation I will accept that every story told in the Torah actually happened the way it’s written. But does “immersion in sin” warrant genocide?
As for the animal references, it’s all about context and implied definitions, Chamor Garum is a compliment, it’s interpreted as “tenacity”.
And when you start bringing up the Gemara and other meforshim, you’re demonstrating my point. How would you feel if Christians started making excuses for the crusades, or the inquisition? All the excuses in the world can’t make it right.
As for why people go off the derech, I can only speak for myself, and the first issue I had was when I started asking questions about inconsistencies in the Torah…
one quick point: am hadoma lechomor although obviously derogatory it’s not necessarily meant to imply that gentiles are similar to donkeys in all aspects (mentally, physically, diet, etc.) it’s actually only referring to the sexual habits of the majority of cultures throughout history making it doubtful if the father is the true father (i.e. a large minority (meyt ha’motzi) are born out of incest) and is also used for jews who don’t live a sexually clean live see nida 17a.
p.s. one of my ambitions is to publish a book concerning the role and position of the gentile in Judaism so if anyone has any references please let me know.
Thank you wholeheartedly for your service to our country.
Don’t mean to get too personal but just curious. When you were growing up did your father have a pocketful of candies and a plentiful amount of hugs on Shabbos and Yom Tov?
Lel Shishy — While you’re correct that the Talmudic reference has a specific context, it has become a cultural idiom as a reflection of the traditional disdain for non-Jews. Similar to the way “Halacha beyadua…” has been taken out of its original context — which was very specific to Yakov and Esav themselves, not to the respective peoples they represent.
Emes Rocker — Is your Judaism all about hugs and candies? You should argue your principles’ truths (if you have any arguments, that is). The pleasantness — or lack thereof — of its practitioners hardly matters in the scheme of things.
I already told you that the Torah cannot be proven true. Nonetheless there are many clear cut examples of its probable Divinity that makes it very hard for an intellectually honest Torah scholar to deny its authenticity. I don’t feel like rehashing all the arguments now but one major proof is the following from my good friend Mark Twain who is one my favorite writers:
If the statistics are right, the Jews constitute but one quarter of one percent of the human race. It suggests a nebulous puff of star dust lost in the blaze of the Milky Way. Properly, the Jew ought hardly to be heard of, but he is heard of, has always been heard of. He is as prominent on the planet as any other people, and his importance is extravagantly out of proportion to the smallness of his bulk.
His contributions to the world’s list of great names in literature, science, art, music, finance, medicine and abstruse learning are also very out of proportion to the weakness of his numbers. He has made a marvelous fight in this world in all ages; and has done it with his hands tied behind him. He could be vain of himself and be excused for it. The Egyptians, the Babylonians and the Persians rose, filled the planet with sound and splendor, then faded to dream-stuff and passed away; the Greeks and Romans followed and made a vast noise, and they were gone; other people have sprung up and held their torch high for a time but it burned out, and they sit in twilight now, and have vanished.
The Jew saw them all, survived them all, and is now what he always was, exhibiting no decadence, no infirmaties, of age, no weakening of his parts, no slowing of his energies, no dulling of his alert but aggressive mind. All things are mortal but the Jews; all other forces pass, but he remains. What is the secret of his immortality?
–Mark Twain, September 1897
Shulem–the ball is in your court now to deny this truth.
Here is a link to a t-shirt that you might like to purchase as well:
http://www.judaicawebstore.com/-the-jewish-people-vs-historical-empires-t-shirt-black-P4869.aspx#
I think you would look cool in the pubs of hip side Williamsburg in this shirt.
“His contributions to the world’s list of great names in literature, science, art, music, finance, medicine”
funny, how many of those “jews” were observant/orthodox?
I already told you that the new testament cannot be proven true. Nonetheless there are many clear cut examples of its probable Divinity that makes it very hard for an intellectually honest christian scholar to deny its authenticity
I already told you that the koran cannot be proven true. Nonetheless there are many clear cut examples of its probable Divinity that makes it very hard for an intellectually honest muslim scholar to deny its authenticity
bla bla bla
Ksil my friend,
There were once three old Jews who had converted to Christianity sitting around the pool at their condo in Florida. They started discussing their various reasons for taking the dip and becoming a Christian. The first guy says, “Well I was working for a Fortune 500 company and I was doing well, but I noticed that I was not moving up the corporate ladder. All the senior executives were Christians so I decided to just take the dip and tell them I was now Christian.”
The second guy says, “I was dating a beautiful blond. She was absolutely stunning and I wanted to marry her but her father said now way is my daughter marrying a Jew. So I took the dip and converted to Christianity.”
The third guy then says, “Well I actually went to the library and spent a lot of time researching the subject of religion and I found that Christianity was a more moral and ethical system than Judaism.”
The other two guy look at him and say “What do think, we are a couple of goyim?!”
“Shulem–the ball is in your court now to deny this truth.”
Which truth would that be now? That Mark Twain wrote what he did? Why would I want to deny it? I have no reason to believe he didn’t write it.
Or do you mean the part about disproportionate achievements and contributions by members of the tribe? Why would I want to deny that? I take pride in it.
But neither you nor our good friend Samuel Clemens has made any claims here about the validity of the Torah, which is the issue at hand.
Funny how you cite the passage as “major proof.” The fact that you do says something about the standards of evidence for what you call “the intellectually honest Torah scholar.”
The passage is “major proof” of one thing only: that Mark Twain was impressed by Jewish tenacity. And so am I. Has absolutely nothing to do with the Torah’s divinity.
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By the way Shulem and Ksil. Life is much better when you laugh.
You guys don’t seem to laugh enough.
How bout a quick gematria of mispar katan for your Shabbos table tonight for all my friends–no charge for this.
Have you ever noticed that many of the things that we do on Shabbos are all connected to the number 7?
1. Ner–50+2=52
5+0+2=7
2. Yayin-10+10+50=70
7+0=7
3. Challah-8+30+5=43
4+3=7
4. Dag-4+3=7
7
5. Basar-2+300+200=502
5+0+2=7
So you see all of these things are not just cute ideas of the Rabbi’s but they are intrinsically related to Shabbos Kodesh. I am not mystically inclined to tell you more.
BUT I KNOW ONE THING:
LET’s ALL HAVE A GESHMACK SHABBOS!!! ONEG, SIMCHA, SING!!!!!
Enjoy all the wine, gefilte fish, challah and everything else. Menucha v’simcha ohr layehudim!!
With love and respect.
EMES ROCKER
“What do think, we are a couple of goyim”
typical frum attitude towards non-jews (or non orthodox). forget laughing – this is reality and its sad.
rocker, you can stick to your shallow, no-meaning gematrias until your grave, but that bullshit is less meaningful to me than a piece of spolied herring.
Well, Emes, you made me laugh with your gimatriyas.
Here’s one for you:
Arse (in Hebrew, Alef-reish-samech): 1 + 200 + 60 = 1 + 2 + 0 + 0 + 6 + 0 = 7!!!
Just sayin’!
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Ksil
Have you ever considered switching to De-Caf?
You sound like a person who needs more love.
Just kidding my friend.
Have a great Shabbos. Please remember to smile.
Your frum racist friend
EMES
Alright you did not like the first joke.
I guess you need a second.
There was once this galach who died and went up to Heaven. As he is sitting in the waiting room before going to see G-d he asks the secretary if by any chance they have the original version of the Bible here. She says “Of course we do, this is Heaven, it’s right over there in that room behind the door”
So he goes inside and it is very quiet for awhile. All of sudden he starts banging the wall in anger and screaming “There’s an R, there’s an R, there’s an R!!!!! The secretary gets nervous and opens the door and says “I am so sorry to bother you Father but what is wrong?”. He turns to her and cries out “It said “CELEBRATE”!!
GOT TO GO-Good Shabbos!!
EMES ROCKER
Wow! I don’t have much to add, but I’ll have you know that my upbringing was very pleasant, and I only started doubting what I’d been taught in my twenties. That aside, there’s no denying that we’re brought up to fear and loath gentiles, and all the spin in the world can’t change that. As for gematriyas and Mark Twain, I love them both as much as the next guy, but they don’t prove anything.
I still don’t believe anyone throws away Yiddishkeit for purely intellectual reasons. I just don’t buy it.
Usually it has to do with troubled parents, illicit relations, abuse or just plain old mental illness. Plenty of all that to go around these days. Rachmana latzlan.
There is no reason to want to write on this website unless you have a spark of Yiddishkeit within you. Why waste time on a Jewish activity? If I did not believe any of this stuff do you think I would be hanging around the Yidden on this site? I would be into much more interesting worldly pursuits. Also, if the Torah is not true than we really are not all brothers and it seems a bit racist to just hang around Jews. There are many nice people in the world–why only hang with Jews?
And I don’t believe in the fairy tails you base your entire life on, so I guess we each have our beliefs (or lack thereof).
You’re just repeating the usual excuses Frummies make for why people Fry-out. My parents are not troubled, I’m married to the same woman I met – for the first time – more than ten years ago, at our first Beshow, and I’ve never had any other relationship before or since. Oh, and I’ve never been abused, nor do I have mental issues. Just like you Frum types love to point to Geirim and Baalei T’shuvah, as proof that Judaism is intellectually true, believe it or not some people go the other way for intellectual reasons as well.
Finally, why do I write on this site? First and foremost you have to disabuse yourself of the myth that Frum Jews have a patent on the definition of Judaism. I consider myself 100% Jewish. And in case you didn’t notice this site is specifically set up for “Voices on the Chassidic fringe”, it’s not meant to be a mainstream Frum site. Secondly, I don’t know why you assume that because I write an article here, I don’t follow other “worldly pursuits” or that I “just hang around Jews”. I’m in the US Army, believe me when I tell you we aren’t crawling with Jews, no matter how you define one.
If you’re really interested in my journey, you can check out my blog by clicking on my name above.
Well put, Shaya. And thank you for this piece. I loved getting a peek into your life in the army.
Thank you ShayaGetztel for a thought provoking essay, and congratulations upon arriving at the truth about “protecting the Constitution” vs “serving in the army”!
Till now I’ve pretty much ignored ER; as I tend to do with other periodic irksome occurrences here on this beautiful forum. However, invoking the name of Twain in vain [though it's not his shem hamphorash:] bothers me even more than when the apologists do so with Einstein. So ER, please familiarize yourself some more with the writings and biographies of this icon of American literature before you claim him as “my good friend…who is one my favorite writers”. For your benefit I have here some quotes of his writings and sayings re god, the Bible, and religion:
1) “You believe in a book that has talking animals, wizards, witches, demons, sticks turning into snakes, burning bushes, food falling from the sky, people walking on water, and all sorts of magical, absurd and primitive stories, and you say that we are the ones that need help?”
2) The easy confidence with which I know another man’s religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.”
3) “The Bible has noble poetry in it… and some good morals and a wealth of obscenity, and upwards of a thousand lies.”
4) “Man is the Reasoning Animal. Such is the claim. I think it is open to dispute. Indeed, my experiments have proven to me that he is the Unreasoning Animal… In truth, man is incurably foolish. Simple things which other animals easily learn, he is incapable of learning. Among my experiments was this. In an hour I taught a cat and a dog to be friends. I put them in a cage. In another hour I taught them to be friends with a rabbit. In the course of two days I was able to add a fox, a goose, a squirrel and some doves. Finally a monkey. They lived together in peace; even affectionately.
Next, in another cage I confined an Irish Catholic from Tipperary, and as soon as he seemed tame I added a Scotch Presbyterian from Aberdeen. Next a Turk from Constantinople; a Greek Christian from Crete; an Armenian; a Methodist from the wilds of Arkansas; a Buddhist from China; a Brahman from Benares. Finally, a Salvation Army Colonel from Wapping. Then I stayed away for two whole days. When I came back to note results, the cage of Higher Animals was all right, but in the other there was but a chaos of gory odds and ends of turbans and fezzes and plaids and bones and flesh–not a specimen left alive. These Reasoning Animals had disagreed on a theological detail and carried the matter to a Higher Court.” (Letters from the Earth: Uncensored Writings)
5) “In religion and politics people’s beliefs and convictions are in almost every case gotten at second-hand, and without examination, from authorities who have not themselves examined the questions at issue but have taken them at second-hand from other non-examiners, whose opinions about them were not worth a brass farthing.”
6) “Most people are bothered by those passages of Scripture they do not understand, but the passages that bother me are those I do understand.”
7) “Thou shalt not commit adultry is a command which makes no distinction between the following persons. They are all required to obey it: children at birth. Children in the cradle. School children. Youths and maidens. Fresh adults. Older ones. Men and women of 40. Of 50. Of 60. Of 70. Of 80. Of 100. The command does not distribute its burden equally, and cannot. It is not hard upon the three sets of children.” (Letters from the Earth)
8 ) “We must have a religion — it goes without saying — but my idea is, to have it cut up into forty free sects, so that they will police each other, as had been the case in the United States in my time. Concentration of power in a political machine is bad; and and an Established Church is only a political machine; it was invented for that; it is nursed, cradled, preserved for that; it is an enemy to human liberty, and does no good which it could not better do in a split-up and scattered condition. That wasn’t law; it wasn’t gospel: it was only an opinion — my opinion, and I was only a man, one man: so it wasn’t worth any more than the pope’s — or any less, for that matter.” (A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court)
9) “We have to keep our God placated with prayers, and even then we are never sure of him–how much higher and finer is the Indian’s God……Our illogical God is all-powerful in name, but impotent in fact; the Great Spirit is not all-powerful, but does the very best he can for his injun and does it free of charge.”
10) “Solomon, who was one of the Deity’s favorites, had a copulation cabinet composed of seven hundred wives and three hundred concubines. To save his life he could not have kept two of these young creatures satisfactorily refreshed, even if he had fifteen experts to help him. Necessarily almost the entire thousand had to go hungry for years and years on a stretch. Conceive of a man hardhearted enough to look daily upon all that suffering and not be moved to mitigate it.” (Letters from the Earth: Uncensored Writings)
11) “Man is a marvelous curiosity … he thinks he is the Creator’s pet … he even believes the Creator loves him; has a passion for him; sits up nights to admire him; yes and watch over him and keep him out of trouble. He prays to him and thinks He listens. Isn’t it a quaint idea?”
Also for starters, please read the book “Genesis According to Mark Twain”. I think he also wrote The Gospel According to Mark Twain.
Shulem, re the minor numerical value of Ars”e; the Hebrew תחת, taw=400, het=8 taw=400,
400+8+400=808, 8+8=16, 1+6=7. Wow, now that we’ve proven ___, let’s go split an atom or try to complete Kurt Godel’s incompleteness…
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“I still don’t believe anyone throws away Yiddishkeit for purely intellectual reasons. I just don’t buy it”
And I don’t believe anyone practices Yiddishkeit for purely intellectual reasons. I just don’t buy it.
The fact of the matter is, have you been born a few hundred miles to your left, you would’ve been a born and bred red neck from the Bible belt. Were you born a few thousand miles to the right, you would’ve been a sworn for life Hindu. A little bit up, and bingo, you are a Muslim like the rest of your country. So what basis of “intellectual reasoning” for practicing the dogma you were born in, should I give you, and the rest of the world, credit for?
Shauly; Thank you for articulating beautifully one of the problems I have with religion. As you said, it’s pure luck that I was born into a Jewish family, so why am I putting so much value in it…
Anyway, would you guys be interested in an Unpious Shabbaton in the beautiful serene and far less judgmental Midwest? You will see a picture of Torah life here far different than Boro Park, Monsey or Wiliamsburg. You can chill and be yourself here and get a few much needed hugs. No one will honk you at stop signs and no one speaks Yiddish but everyone loves learning Torah. No Lubabs, Aish BT’s or any other creepy kiruv people here. You will be pleasantly surprised when you meet me that I am actually kind of lovable. I am more of a rocker than Rabbi and I guarantee you will all eat and drink very well.
We can have a poetry slam, spontaneous writing exercises, music, art showcases and an all around blast.
Thoughts?
You have it wrong, Max. People who are required to obey and imitate a madman in all things for all time have no other essence; stray from that pattern and they can be killed by any Muslim with impunity. If their wives or children stray from that pattern, “honor killings” usually follow. According to Islam, the Torah and Gospels have been corrupted, and the only true Jews or Christians are those in compliance with the Koran. To learn of Christian “rights” in an Islamic state, research “The Treaty of Umar.” That’s the law that should be turned on them!