Chasidish vs Yeshivish: The Prostitute Edition
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Eons ago, back in the prehistoric days, when Craigslist was more of a dating site and less of a pile of oozing sludge, I once posted a personal ad, identifying myself as a single Jewish female. I got many replies, but there was one that I will never forget. I wish I had kept the email, because I won’t recapture the perfection of the language and phrasing, but, basically, it was from a Chasidish guy who confessed that he was married, but wanted to meet me and potentially pursue a relationship — as long as I kept shabbos and kosher.
Here on FreiFem, we’ve talked in the past about other examples of Chasidish men who cheat on their wives (and whether or not it is moral), and we all know the cliché of a Chasid visiting a prostitute, but a recent conversation with a friend has me wondering – do Chasidish men cheat, have pre-marital sex and/or visit strip clubs and prostitutes more than other flavors of frum men, like Yeshivish men?
My sense is that Chasidish men do, overall, engage in “not-kosher” sexual activity more than yeshivish men. I think it’s because yeshivish men have more access to “low impact” pressure releases: porn, a ballgame, or a little “misbehavior” seems far more accessible for a guy in Lakewood than a guy in Kiryas Joel. And even in the strictest yeshivish homes, there’s a lot more freedom in marriage and dating, compared to the b’sho of the average Chasid. I would imagine that all these other options decrease the need for more dramatic release.
But I have never been a Chasidish or Yeshivish man, so I don’t really know enough to be definitive. What do you all think – is “not-kosher” sexual activity more prevalent in the Chasidish or Yeshivish world – and why?
10 Responses
Definitely you make a good point when you mention the availability of “outlets” to the “yeshivesh.” One year, I was stuck in a yeshiva where misfit teenage boys – both Chasidic & Yeshivesh – were sent. Brought up Yeshivesh, I was horrified to hear tales from my Chasidic peers, their teachers had taught them that ball playing was a sin! While I had been permitted to play ball, see the occasional PG movie, watch a sporting event on TV, my Chasidec counterpoints “outlet” was limited to the occasional micveh gossip session. Those 18 year old boys were now the quickest to sneak out to the local strip joint and generally engage in behavior and pursuits that seemed to me sleazy at best, immoral and decadent at worst.
Well, as a Litvish yeshivish type person, I can say that in the many years that I worked for non-Jewish corporations, I would never have had to pay anyone, there were always female gentile coworkers who made it clear they were available, had I needed to pursue that sort of thing. Men who wear chassidish type clothing are seldom hired by non-orthodox companies. They may therefore be more likely to hire prostitutes.
I would say that promiscuity has more to do with intensity of involvement in Talmudic study than in any particular Orthodox sect. More Talmud, less slutting around.
I really doubt that there were “female gentile coworkers” who made it clear that they were available for you JP. Unless you worked in the buisness.
I guess you haven’t heard about a little something called the “sexual revolution”. It’s been about 40 years now. Stay in the loop.
“I guess you haven’t heard about a little something called the “sexual revolution”.”
Uh huh. And for some strange reason, girls remain determinedly uninterested in creepy freaks. So if you think people believe your little fantasies, you’re pathetic.
Obviously, you know pitifully little about the female psyche. So let’s begin slowly.
There is something I call the Monotheism Mystique. This is the fact that many women find devoutly monotheistic men quite alluring. Even the weirder polygamistic ones like Muslims or some Mormons. Warren Jeffs and Osama bin Laden weren’t lonely.
Here’s why.
We’re predictable. We have some rules. There are some boundaries.
Regarding atheists, however the ethic is “whatever feels good, do it” so the guy might do literally anything. Big turnoff.
And you know all this how?
I happen to be an expert in many fields.
99% of chasidish men are very honest to the wives. a few bad apples is no need to discuss.
Having experienced the chasidishe and yeshivasha crowd and the non frum crowd, I find it hypocritcal that men who profess to be observant seem to find a dispensation to engage in extra marrital affairs. It really shouldn’t matter whether a man is chasidish or yeshivish; what should matter is why are they engaging in such activities at all. I, who do not pretend to be overly observant, find no personal contradiction in “looking” since I do not delude myself with illusions of observance.