Super-Kosher Sex: Horny Snakes

Rashi, old boy, how long have you been worrying about snakes crawling up into women’s hoo-hahs? And where did you get the idea they wanted to make the Sign of the Double-Humped Iguana with people? Therapy can help you with these bizarre fantasies.

Wouldn’t it be more effective for her to leave her clothes on so the snake couldn’t climb in there in the first place?

Throwing your clothes on the ground.
Fucking for a reptilian audience.
Weird contagious magic with hair and fingernails.
Ornate rituals with foo, two barrels, a fire and a really undignified posture.

I’ve got two much better solutions

Realize it’s a damned snake. Its tiny pea brain is only interested in mating with other snakes
If you’re really concerned about it take your hoe and chop it into little pieces. This one from my wife who grew up hoeing corn in East Africa. That was S.O.P. for dangerous snakes)

I can’t believe I used to study those odd stuff without even thinking how stupid it sounds, after all, it was God’s words, so who am I to judge?

I kind of understand now why my rebbe’s skipped those pages in the gemarah…

Wow!
This is the kind of commentary my husband tells me about from his yeshiva days, then says that of course women will misinterpret it which is why we women never hear about it.
Okay… Misinterpret it how? I dare any believing lurkers to explain why this commentary should not be taken at face value. But I warn any takers I may mock YOUR shita, too.

Ruthie, by “misinterpret” the black-hatted graybeards mean “won’t treat us like the Lords of Creation we really are” or the great secret fear of men, that women will laugh at them. It sounds ridiculous because it is ridiculous. Like much cult indoctrination it’s set about with mysteries and prohibitions because it can’t stand sunlight and fresh air. If outsiders who haven’t been completely brainwashed hear this shit and question it there’s a good chance they will ask inconvenient questions and threaten the careful conditioning of the initiate.

Notice how it works. You start with “There’s a god” and “This is His Holy Torah”. You progress to “The Witch Doctors are God’s representatives and are wiser than you.” Once that hook’s been swallowed down to the anal vent you get the marks into the habit of unthinking obedience to authority which includes discussing utter bullshit seriously.

Gevalt. Thank Maude I was born a woman and didn’t have to learn any of this. I think I would have laughed out loud. This passage couldn’t possibly be less tznua!!! I’ll bet this is what the bochurs are sticking around for!

Tikvah,

These type of gemara’s are generally not learnt in a classroom setting as they are mostly found in aggada – which is not the focus of Yeshiva learning. The people who do come across these passages are usually learning on their own time and thus the average yeshiva bochur won’t come across most of the really wacky dialogue.

What’s the problem? It was common belief in the ancient world that animals could mate with humans and produce bizarro offspring. Just look at Greek mythology. It was the secular science / wisdom of it’s time and the Talmud included it because it might be useful. It’s only the extreme right wing Ashkenazi world that attributes everything in the Talmud to God. Rambam already said 800 years ago not to pay any attention to the medical advice in the Talmud because it was clearly irrelevant / wrong.

Just for comparisons sake, there is a story from a course I took on mathematical proof writing about the problem of exactly doubling the volume of a cube while maintaining it’s exact shape. In ancient Greece there was a city that was hit with a plague and the residents went to the oracle of Apollo to ask why. The guys running the oracle told them that Apollo wanted the size of his alter in the city doubled. That seemed reasonable to the people so they went and built a second identical alter and placed it next to the first one. Unfortunately, people kept dying from the plague. So they went back to the oracle of Apollo and asked what’s the problem? So the guys at the oracle told them that Apollo wanted the alters volume exactly doubled, maintaining the shape. None of the cities engineers or mathematicians could solve the problem. In fact it wasn’t solved until Issac Newton invented calculus.

The point of the story is that smart, educated people believed all kinds of crazy things in the past. It was perfectly reasonable to the Greeks that one of their gods would without warning start killing them off over the size and shape of his alter.

That the sages of the Talmud or Rashi believed things that look silly to us in retrospect doesn’t reflect badly on them, as that was just the “science” of their day.

First off, SailorBob, this holes the “Daas Torah” and “Infallibility of Chazal” traditions below the waterline and watches them sink. All hands on the Good Ship Orthodox feared lost.

Why? “Daas Torah” and “Infallibility of Chazal” are recent innovations of the Ashkenazi Charadi and Chassidic communities. These concepts have no historical basis and are not accepted as valid in a large part of the Orthodox world. The Talmud itself says that Chazal could be mistaken about natural science. You can check out the blog of Rabbi Natan Slifkin for numerous examples of this.

http://www.rationalistjudaism.com/

Even more, the Sanhedrin was capable of making mistakes, and there were rituals in place for them to atone for that. If the Sanhedrin could make mistakes in matters of Jewish Law ( for instance executing an innocent person ), how much more so that Chazal could make mistakes regarding natural science.

As much as the right-wing yeshivish world would like to make “Daas Torah” and the “Infallibility of Chazal” seem like obligatory Orthodox beliefs, the fact is that plenty of O. people don’t believe in them ( myself for instance ) and there’s absolutely no problem with that from a historical perspective. In fact, most of the Rishonim didn’t’ believe it either.

I always understood these Aggadic passages to be hinting at deeper things, and the Maharal does a great job at explaining lots of them. So this is not something which ever really bothered me, nor do I consider it to be from the “big questions” on the Orthodox belief system. (The Maharal’s sefer Be’er Hagolah was authored specifically to address such questions, and I think his answers are pretty rational and acceptable.
There is digest of it in English “Be’Er Hagolah: the Classic Defense of Rabbinic Judaism Through the Profundity of the Aggadah” by Rabbi Yitzchok Adlerstein.”

I respect the hell out of Rabbi Slifkin. He’s trying to walk the line between faith and reason. Sometimes he slips, but the effort is always commendable. But since he thinks instead of engaging in idolatry he is unacceptable to the ultra-Right rabbinate.

A lot of these ideas like snakes wanting to hump girls weren’t the best science of the day. They were weird even by the standards of the time. Even if they were cutting edge back then the fact that they’re still taken seriously and treated as Torah with God’s authority behind them is problematic.

An honest person would say “For historical interest only. Don’t take this stuff seriously.” But that’s heresy according current trends. This is to the detriment of Judaism.

Kafhakela , as Rabbi Slifkin points out the maharal was the first one to interpret many of these passages allegorically. Meaning that almost all of rishonim understood them literally. So you can take the maharals view but realize that almost all the rishonim disagree with you.

“A lot of these ideas like snakes wanting to hump girls weren’t the best science of the day.”

Well, if you want to get technical, they weren’t the best science of the day because back then there was no such thing as science. The scientific method as we know it wasn’t really developed formally until around 1620 by Francis Bacon.

People have tried to make the case that “Science As We Know It” was invented in 1620 by one man. It doesn’t wash.

It didn’t spring full-grown from his head one morning. Bacon was simply one of a long-developing tradition of empiricists and scientists who happens to be pegged as “the inventor” out of convenience.

I wasn’t saying that he invented it, just that he formalized it and brought all the pieces together in one place. It was definitely a long time in developing with roots going all the way back to ancient Greece, but from what I’ve understood all it’s pieces weren’t really in place until the mid-late Islamic period, quite a long time after Chazal and even after Rashi lived. Even after Bacon published his book, the ideas in it didn’t really become widely known and accepted for quite a while afterwards.

Also, people in our Internet age of instant access to information don’t realize that until the past hundred years or so new knowledge spread very, very slowly through the world. I was reading in one of Linus Pauling’s books that from the time of it’s first discovery it took almost 500 years for vitamin C to become a widely known treatment for scurvy. ( I know they only isolated it in the lab about 100 years ago, but I’m referring to the fact that eating various green leafy plants or citrus, either fresh, pickled or in extract form could prevent scurvy ).

Shalom,

“When a grown-up man has intercourse with a little girl it is nothing, for when the girl is less than this (three years and a day) it is as if one put the finger into the eye.” The footnote says that as “tears come to the eye again and again, so does virginity come back to the little girl under three years.” Kethuboth 11b.

Second century Rabbi Simeon ben Yohai, one of Judaism’s very greatest rabbis and a creator of Kabbalah, sanctioned pedophilia—permitting molestation of baby girls even younger than three! He proclaimed,

“A proselyte who is under the age of three years and a day is permitted to marry a priest.” 1
Yebamoth 60b,

There has been & still is a Jewish Sexual Holocaust! Most Jews deny this! They are Jewish Sexual Holocaust deniers. SHAME ON YOU!

You HYPOCRITES imprison, condemn, abuse & destroy the characters of Jews & non-Jews that question what happened in Germany & Poland during the Second World War.

Your Holy Book teaches HUMAN SACRIFICE – HOLOCAUST.

MISHNAH. HE WHO GIVES OF HIS SEED TO MOLECH INCURS NO PUNISHMENT UNLESS HE DELIVERS IT TO MOLECH AND CAUSES IT TO PASS THROUGH THE FIRE. IF HE GAVE IT TO MOLECH BUT DID NOT CAUSE IT TO PASS THROUGH THE FIRE, OR THE REVERSE, HE INCURS NO PENALTY, UNLESS HE DOES BOTH.

Babylonian Talmud, Tractate Sanhedrin 64a
Soncino 1961 Edition, page 437

Following the Mishnah is a discussion among the sages. One of the Talmud Sages, Rabbi Ashi, comments as follows:

GEMARA. R. Ashi propounded: What if one caused his blind or sleeping son to pass through, (3) or if he caused his grandson by his son or daughter to pass through? — One at least of these you may solve. For it has been taught: [Any men … that giveth any of his seed unto Molech; he shall he put to death … And I will set my face against that man, and will cut him off from among his people;] because he hath given of his seed unto Molech. Why is this stated? — Because it is said, there shall not be found among you any one that maketh his son or his daughter to pass through the fire. From this I know it only of his son or daughter. Whence do I know that it applies to his son’s son or daughter’s son too? From the verse, [And if the people of the land do any ways hide their eyes from the man] when he giveth of his seed unto Molech [and kill him not: Then I will … cut him off.]

— Babylonian Talmud, Tractate Sanhedrin 64b
Soncino 1961 Edition, page 439

Do you know the MYSTERY of the HOLOCAUST?

Jews masterminded it & got Nazis to do the dirty deed!

WHY?

Because they didn’t want SICK-OLD & VERY YOUNG JEWS going to Israel.

GOOGLE:

THE SECULAR ZIONIST AGENDA FOR A JEWISH STATE

Rabbi Dr. Chaim Simons

P.O.B. 1775, Kiryat Arba 90100, Israel
tel and fax: 02-9961252 (within Israel),
972 2 9961252 (from outside Israel)
e-mail: chaimsimons@gmail.com

August 2007

THIS IS WHY WE HAVE BEEN HATED SINCE THE BEGINNING!