WTF (What The Frum) Happened?
FreiFem2011BlogsFreiFemcredit: just.Luc
For years, I knew little about the frum world’s current events, but since I started writing FreiFem, I spend a considerable amount of time flipping through websites and news sources, reading up on the latest achievements of the world that I long ago left.
And my impression is similar to Der Bik’s, commenting on The Expert:
“Now I read the news coming out of Israel, and out of frum communities on the East Coast, and I wonder, “When did all this nuttiness start happening? Was it there all along, and I somehow didn’t notice it? Or did it somehow start to snowball all of a sudden?”
Where was I? When did I stop paying attention? What happened?”
I was a teenager when I left the frum world, so I never got an adult dose of the politics and insanity. It’s possible that my more pleasant view of the community in those years was simply a product of childish naivete. Now, as I read through the various news sources documenting Charedi violence in Israel, and child abuse cover ups and widespread financial fraud here in the New York area, I am constantly shocked. I’m not even talking about the religious fundamentalism that seems to be intensifying at a crazy pace – I’m talking about the blatant criminality and immorality.
Of course, no community is without its ugly side, but this is a community that prides itself on not having an ugly side. This is a community that doesn’t tolerate criticism from insiders, let alone outsiders. A community that seems to have no self-awareness of its problems, where lauded leaders are more notable for covering up scandal than attempting to address it.
Was it always like this?
Was it this bad ten years ago?
I would venture a guess that it wasn’t. That as the religious community continues to grow and solidify its power financially, politically and psychologically, it breeds more of this insanity. It makes one wonder what the ultra-Orthodox world will be like in ten years from now. It makes one wonder and fear.
7 Responses
“Of course, no community is without its ugly side, but this is a community that prides itself on not having an ugly side.”
Amen! Well put!
I think to an outsider it looks like there is mayhem going on because of the headlines, while to an insider that lives the situation there aren’t really any headlines. Insiders may hear of different crimes committed, rumors, etc. but it has always been there and is nothing new.
I like to compare it to – before I went to Israel I thought Israel was such a dangerous place with constant wars and terrorist attacks. When I actually went to Israel I saw that that was not the case. While there were occasional terrorist attacks and wars, it was not a part of everyday life and did not have a direct effect on most people.
When you’re part of the frum community, you’re constantly reminded that that most people are just going about their lives and are on the whole nice and decent people. When your main contact with the frum world is headlines, especially headlines in the blogosphere, you get a distorted view.
At that, the difference between now and ten years ago may be where you get your news. When you’re part of a community, you get the news filtered through both the community’s spin and our tendency to judge favorably members of the group we identify with. Now you’re getting your news from sources with no particular interest in making the frum world look good, and no longer have the same motivation to try and interpret stories in a positive light.
G*3, good point. Also, the current approach to committed Judaism started to the left and moved to the right. Now, it is swinging to the extreme of its arc at breakneck speed, often discarding reason and normalcy in its furious race to zealousness. The frum world needs to correct its path, and I hope it does so soon. The problem is the packaging, not the product, but if something doesn’t change soon, Unpious will have a huge readership in 10 years. FreiFem, I too am scared. How many people will abandon ship before the Chareidi world realizes it needs to change courses?
Hey, Shulem and Leah – how can I buy stock in Unpious?
I agree. It’s the power. Vayishmon yeshurun vayivot. It’s sick that people who are otherwise healthy religious adults are now called “orthoprax” because they don’t follow the party line in private. Half of my relatives would now be considered orthoprax- and they’re your bread and butter brooklyn frum jews. The Lakewood-Israel Axis is out of control and gradually cutting out the main body of jews.
I’m flattered, FreiFem, that my comment caught your eye.
Unless I’m completely off my rocker and have misremembered my life, the frum world as I knew it — and I’m someone who used to hang out in Mea Shearim — has disappeared.
I really did meet chassidim who were self-taught Shakespeare scholars who could recite his poetry and plays from memory.
I really did learn from serious yeshivische rabbis who had no problem with science in general or the theory of evolution in particular.
I really did meet plenty of frum psychiatrists and psychologists and psychotherapists — and plenty of frum people who sought their treatment — who talked about depression and other disorders in a matter-of-fact way.
I don’t know. Looking back, if I were to be completely honest, there were probably two major events that paved the way for the current nuttiness.
The death of Reb Moshe in 1986, and the assassination of Rabin in 1995.
Reb Moshe had been a profoundly moderating force in Orthodox Judaism. And after Rabin’s assassination, even radically secular Zionists seemed determined to forget what had happened. The prevailing attitude in Israel seemed to be that “national unity” had to be maintained at any cost.
The outcome of both events was, I think, that zealots learned that in the Jewish world, no one, secular or religious, was willing or able to mount an effective opposition to zealotry.
No one was going to stand up and say, ‘”You’ve gone too far. You’re wrong. You’re crazy. Stop it.”
And zealotry, because its sole purpose is to further zealotry, is corruption.
And corruption breeds corruption.
Der Bik said: “And zealotry, because its sole purpose is to further zealotry, is corruption.
And corruption breeds corruption.”
I hear that!
The zealot I was educated by was arrested for embezzlement years ago. Recently, I read in the news that his nephew had been arrested for the same thing. And they see nothing wrong with what they are doing. They start with a theoretically holy agenda, and say that the ends justify the means.
One of his fellow zealots was approved to guide me, along with his wife, and after a while this couple managed to talk me into intimate activities. Of course, my zealot rav disapproved of that, but he disapproved much more strongly of my husband’s and my decision to open a ‘tik aliyah’ without his input, and would not speak to us for the rest of the time we were in America.
The ‘dati leumi’ community we now live in is no less zealous than the Chabad community we come from. They talk about how they are not extremists, and how they just want to live in the land peacefully and grow their families. But unless you are born here, white, Ashkenazi, Jew/frum/dati leumi from birth and with the right levushim, you don’t exist, and they see nothing wrong with screwing you over in favor of their homegrown chevreh.
And, just like the Chassidim of America (I am willing to be corrected on this, if justified), the behavior of the Chareidi AND Dati Leumi “pillars of the community” in Israel, not to mention all their cronies, must not be questioned, privately or publicly.
I have friends in these communities who are very sincere and kind people, but given the choice I would not willingly suffer the zealotry and bigotry of the ‘anshei shlomeinu’ (the Good Old Boys, Chareidi-style) just to be able to hang out with my friends.